Trying to wrap my head around Baby Jesus

I’ve thought with wonder and awe before about Jesus entering our mess, but ever since I had a baby, I’ve been thinking in more detail about Baby Jesus.  Like Jesus as a baby in his baby-ness.

Luke is almost 6 months old now and rolling and squealing and laughing.  Watching him reach milestones fills my heart with such joy.  I smile just thinking about it!

I imagine Mary felt that way about her baby too, relishing in all of his “firsts”:

The first time Jesus smiled.

The first time Jesus cooed.

The first time Jesus rolled over.

The first time Jesus crawled.  (Was Jesus a back scooter too?  I wonder.)

Most the time, it’s just me and Luke at home.  It feels so sacred, this fleeting, peaceful time when it’s just him and me.  Our games of peek-a-boo and “this little piggy”, tickles and laughs in the serene privacy of our little house.  The wonderful blessing of this season is regularly on my mind.  It’s like I can taste the blessing of it.

I love thinking of Mary and her baby Jesus – their quiet moments together in their home.  She was a first-time mom too.  I imagine she consulted Elizabeth and her other mom friends about baby sleep and starting solids.  Just ordinary mom talk.  Ordinary baby stuff.

But then, I’m so so struck remembering that this Baby Jesus, in all his human baby-ness, was also, IS also the King of Kings.  The Ruler of all!  The One in whom Mary and me and all of us live and move and have our being.  The One who holds everything together!

He existed before anything else, and he holds all creation together.

Colossians 1:17

That the One who is all-seeing and all-powerful and all-knowing would choose to become, at one time, a helpless newborn with blurry vision and limited motor skills – it amazes me and gives me such thoughtful pause.

The One who, with his Father, spoke things into being, becoming a baby who couldn’t speak at all.

The One who made Mary and cared intimately for her soul, entrusting himself into her teenage, new-mom care.  Mind bending.

I’m just so blown away again that He would do that.  That he would come down off his throne and experience our humanness and hardship, to relate to us, and ultimately to die for us.

And then I think of God the Father.  I asked Matt everyday for months when I was pregnant with Luke if he thought the baby was okay.  I pleaded daily with God to protect his life, to keep him safe.  It was the most persistent I had been in prayer in a long time.  And now that Luke is here, there’s a great wide world with terrible, scary things that I very much want him to be spared from.  I find myself battling scary scenarios in my head at times, and have to actively choose to dwell on what is true right now (instead of worrying about things that haven’t happened.)

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

I’m not even a natural worrier!  But having a child really has bubbled up all the stereotypical mama bear feelings!  I know he will experience his share of heartache in this world and I really do trust that God will use it…, but oh how I want to shield my beloved only son from undue trauma and pain.

Knowing that God the Father gave HIS beloved only Son to a people who He knew would reject and beat and kill him…  It just pierces my heart in a new way this Christmas now that I have my own son.

The weight of that sacrifice.

That unequalled love for us.

Down in a lowly manger

Our humble Christ was born,

And God sent us salvation

That blessed Christmas morn.